Counting One Thousand Gifts

My Mom sent me the book “One Thousand Gifts” in December and at the beginning I had a hard time starting the book. I had already read a little bit about Ann Voskamp and I knew that Emerging Mummy was counting to one thousand gifts on her blog but I didn’t really understand the foundation on which they were counting.

Voskamp’s book is based on the word eucharisteo, which comes from the root word charis, meaning grace and also chara, meaning joy. We find it where Jesus takes the bread and knew it to be a gift and gave thanks. “Deep chara joy is found only at the table of the euCHARisteo – the table of thanksgiving.” She is then challenged by a friend to count to one thousand gifts of things she loves. And out of that challenge a book is written and a new but really old concept is passed on to others.

As I read the book, the concept of eucharisteo began to resonate deeply within me. I have been seeing all the ugly and none of the beautiful. The year and a half that we have lived in Madison have not been easy on me to say the least. I have resented living here for most of the time but have been able to find some good things about living here too. For instance, the opportunity to be able to completely pay Andrew’s school bill while taking a fully paid trip to Ireland, and also being able to fly to Washington to visit family and also to fly home for a couple weekends a year was not what we expected to do when we moved here. Plus, we do live outside one of the most famous cities in the world and all we have to do is hop on a train and we are there in an hour exploring all of its exciting places! So, there has been some beautiful in the sea of ugly.

Of course, part of this has been me only wanting to see the ugly around me and not see the beautiful, small things that come into my life each and every day. I seem to think in my life that if I could live in my own house instead of an apartment, or have a baby, or live close to home, that I would be happy. Instead, I need to be content where I am right now. I jumped into counting the small gifts at the end of December and I can already see the effect of it. I am happier, I am looking for joy in the small things, and I am beginning to appreciate the ugly-beautiful more.

Voskamp wrote, “’Wherever you are, be all there’ is only possible in the posture of eucharisteo. I want to slow down and taste life, give thanks, and see God.” This is what I want for my life. I want to appreciate each day that I am given and live it to its fullest.

{Counting One Thousand Gifts – 1 to 41}


1. walks on sunny days in winter
2. warm blankets straight from the dryer
3. special wink from my love
4. pink tulips blooming
5. cappuccinos
6. breakfast in bed on a lazy Saturday morning
7. twinkly Christmas lights
8. girls giggling over secrets in the tub
9. fingers typing in the quiet of a Sunday night
10. the heater ticking as it warms our apartment
11. my love putting jelly-bellys in my hand
12. texts from Beka

In January we met my parents and my siblings in St. Thomas for a weeklong vacation. We had rented the house and purchased our tickets back in June and had eagerly awaited our trip for so long! Getting to St. Thomas was a bit of a challenged for all of us. Andrew and I got up super early on a Tuesday morning and had a taxi drop us off at the airport. After boarding our first plane we found out that it had a leak in the baggage compartment. Two hours later we were on our way. We were so thankful when our wheels finally touched down on the tarmac in St. Thomas! Meanwhile, the rest of my family was having their own delays in Atlanta. Their flight from Atlanta to San Juan didn’t have a crew scheduled and that made their plane take off late, which caused them to miss their flight from San Juan to St. Thomas. Long story short, four of them had to spend the night in San Juan and two of them were able to fly into St. Thomas late the first evening!

We had thought we would be able to spend the evening of the first day together but our plans drastically changed. We were so thankful when everyone made it to St. Thomas safe and sound. We celebrated with a French toast breakfast and a trip to our first beach!

It was a wonderful week of snorkeling, swimming, being tossed about in the waves, eating, drinking Bushwackers, touring Charlotte Amalie and St. John, spending precious time with family, long conversations, grilling on the deck, playing cards, savoring wine, stopping by the grocery store every day we were there, soaking up the sun, and just being still! I was in desperate need of some sunshine and came back rested and relaxed!

13. sunshine
14. white beaches
15. blue-green water
16. coral
17. waves crashing on shore
18. coffee on the deck
19. sailboats
20. Bushwacker
21. tiny hand reaching out waiting for the wave to come to shore
22. pelicans diving from high in the sky
23. sun kissing the ocean floor
24. snorkeling with Mom and Dad
25. multi-colored fish
26. all 8 of us crammed in a car made for 5!
27. business meetings in clear blue-green water
28. long conversations on the deck in the light of a full moon
29. dinner at sunset
30. white sand under the stars
31. palm trees waving in the breeze
32. hugs at the airport
33. praying as the plane heads toward the runway
34. huge puffy clouds floating by the house
35. Sophia ~ cancer free
36. large heads instead of cancer
37. learning to say “yes”
38. smell of suncreen wafting through the air
39. the color of Larimar
40. airplane wheels touching the tarmac
41. smooth straight roads

This Blog

So. Hmm. This blog. . .well, it has been a bit of a hodgepodge over the last few years. I started it ithe summer of 2007 when I was traveling for Faith Baptist Bible College on a music team. I gave updates about our travels to family and friends. Then the summer was over and I started a full-time job working for Faith. I didn't really have a lot of time to blog and then I started dating Andrew and we got married and that was the end of the blog!

The blog has been neglected for at least the last 2 years. Andrew keeps telling me that I need to get a game-plan for it or maybe I should just not do it. The majority of the hits on my blog are for the videos I have posted or the lyrics to a song. Writing is not easy for me. Andrew is the writer in our family! But, I have these ideas in my head and I feel like I need to get them out. I realize that I don't really have a following for my blog and that is fine with me. I have been reading so many great things and I want to share them with others. I think that is one reason why I want to get back into blogging.

I have also struggled with how personal to make this blog. At the beginning, I didn't want to put a lot of personal information out on the net. But, the majority of the blogs that I read are personal. They talk about their families and their lives. Let's be honest, that is why we like to read them! I am realizing that I just need to write and not worry about it being too personal!

Anyway, back to the beginning. I am trying to decide what to do with the blog. I have thought about writing about leaving the fundamentalist cult in which I grew up. I'm not sure I want to do that. I also have been reading a lot of books and I might review some of them. I have my best ideas for writing when I am giving the baby her bottle right before nap. By the time I make it downstairs the thoughts have all left. I also have a hard time trying to end my blogpost. Most of the time I feel like I am just ending but not really closing it out like I should.

I think it comes down to me putting pressure on myself to be like other blogs but not really be me. I am working on being myself instead of trying to be like everyone else! This is not coming easy for me and it is taking a long time. A lot longer than I want it to take!

Thanks for listening, friend.

Christmas/Advent

This year we did something different with my family. We decided instead of buying each other gifts we should save our money and go on a vacation. We found a house in St. Thomas this past summer and decided to all meet up after Christmas.

As the holidays approached, I felt out of sorts a bit as my normal Christmas activities/habits were disrupted. I wasn't doing my Christmas gift shopping or baking cookies or anything. It didn't even feel like Christmas. That is when I realized that maybe my focus during the Christmas season has been off. I really wanted to participate in Advent this year and read Emerging Mummy's book list. I decided to order Waiting for the Light to use for my Advent reading. It was wonderful. Waiting for the Light was exactly what I needed for this Advent and this season of my life! I also tried to keep up with the Book of Common Prayer as much as I could.

I also read this article by Ann Voskamp and it really resonated with me. I shared it with Andrew and we are thinking about doing this in future years. Guess what I got for Christmas? A cow donated in my name! Andrew was looking at buying me some perfume but could not bring himself to spend the money on it and instead used the money to buy a cow in my name. I loved it. It was the best present I got for Christmas! I was so thankful too. I really wanted this Advent season to be about giving money to others and not spending it on myself.



My employers gave me a very generous Christmas gift: a Coach handbag. I have used it and am still figuring out how I like it. I feel like it says, "Look at me, I have a lot of money. I have a designer handbag. I am wealthy." However, that is not true of my life and I don't want my money to be spent on me. I want to be able to help those less fortunate instead of living a luxurious life.

Andrew and I are still figuring out our traditions throughout the holidays. We bought an Advent candle but we didn't do a very good job of burning it every day.

This Christmas was also the first Christmas that we spent in our own home. Since we live so close to New York City we spent Christmas Eve in the city! We had a wonderful time making memories!

Advent Reading #3

‎. . .Sometimes we get tired of waiting. Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes we cry with the Psalmist, "How long, O Lord?" Advent honors this place of waiting. Advent invites us to embrace the waiting. Advent reminds us that God is present and active when we feel like we're just marking time, or getting through, or barely holding on. Taken from "Waiting for the Light - An Advent Devotional"

Advent Reading #2

"The least likely place seems to be where I always find Jesus-in the sweet small ways my heart is pricked and I don't even know why, the beauty and power of a simple hug, a meal shared with friends, a kind gesture that brings dignity, one more day of sobriety for my brave friends, dollar store gifts that pass on hope. In gas money exchanged, in the dark places of friends' stories, in the flicker of a prayer candle, in the messiness of my house that often mirrors the messiness of my heart. In a long list of little ways that are so easy to miss if I'm focused on the most likely. These lovely small unlikely things give me hope." Taken from "Waiting for the Light - An Advent Devotional"

Advent Reading #1

"Jesus was the one who was out there in the world, hanging out with the uncouth and common members of society. Sure, he delivered challenges to his culture and found moments for retreat, but he didn't shun it because he despised it for getting in the way of his contemplative spiritual journey. The Messiah showed up where no one expected him to. Born to a poor family in the unexpected dinginess of a stable, he subverted all cultural expectations." - taken from "Waiting for the Light"

Random Musings

So, after over a year of not blogging I am back. I think this last year was a year of finding out who I am these days. My life has pretty much been turned upside down in the last 10 years and I am finally coming into my own. This post is about random things going on in my life right now.

The color on the trees is at its peak right now here in northern New Jersey. I am trying to soak up as much of the oranges, reds, yellows of the trees as I can right now before we head into the white that is winter. It is good for my soul to see the sun coming down through the leaves of the trees. I was standing in the yard wishing I had the camera to capture the beauty that is fall.

I have been reading a lot lately. Right now my stack of books includes "Grace for the Good Girl", "Playful Parenting", and "Bossypants" by Tina Fey. They are all very random but that is me. All of them are fitting for me at this point in my life. I may not be a parent but I am raising two girls by myself over 50 hours a week and I want us to have fun. Playful Parenting has been very good for me to read as I get stressed when conflict arises and I tend to react badly to the situation. This book has helped me lighten up with the girls and turn a stressful situation into a goofy one!

Two weeks ago, the family I nanny for took a vacation and I flew home for a few days. I was originally supposed to fly back on Wednesday but I changed my ticket to fly back on Saturday. It was just what the doctor ordered. I was in great need of a quiet, restful week. My body was beginning to get very tense from stress before I left. It was wonderful spending an uninterrupted week with my siblings and parents. I haven't been home for a week in the fall since 2009. We took walks, drank wine, cooked, read books, went through old letters, laughed, drank more wine, had an early Thanksgiving dinner, played cards while listening to Oldies, shopped, drove around the old hometown and many more glorious things. I made it into Newark on the last flight out of Detroit late Saturday night in the middle of a blizzard.

We picked up a "Book of Common Prayer" this weekend at the used bookstore in Madison. I am excited to start using it. I also am looking forward to Advent and using the church year in my personal life.

I have already figured out my next post which is a good sign that I might be able to pick up this blogging thing again. I think I will need to format it on a computer though instead of from my iPad.